Merry Christmas, y'all!

So, it's 1:28 A.M. And it's officially Christmas. I'm laying in bed and Andrew is in the living room being sneaky about Christmas gifts. My work for the day is finally finished and I am able to finally rest for a moment before I have to do it all again.

I just closed out my bible app and the devotional was about worrying. Something I do best. Here lately God has really been telling me to chill. It's like every time I turn around there is something about letting go and letting God.

I asked Him a few weeks back to let my mind rest if the things that I worry about are okay for me to let go. Slowly, every single day I can feel a little bit of my burdens drift away.

I'm a control freak, I know this is true. I'm pretty sure that's why I have fears and anxieties over certain things. I want to be able to control things about my life that only He can. Slowly, and I mean realllyy slowly, I've been able to let Him be in control.

It's funny because I've heard people say recently that I look genuinely happy and I look back at my stupid social media and see all of these photographs where it just looks like everything is fine and hunky dory and I wonder to myself.. "am I really that happy? Or do I make an effort that I don't even realize to come off that happy?" Honestly, I'm happy. So very much so. I have a million reasons to smile each day so I know that when I'm feeling down, it's not permanent. My fears and anxieties aren't real. That's not what God has in store for me. He wants me to be happy and I know that's why he has blessed me with so many beautiful things in life.

I wasn't feeling Christmassy this year but honestly, just seeing how much my family loves Hazel and how much my husband cares for me has changed my mood. After going to church today I was reassured once more that I'm okay. Everything is okay. God is in control and He loves us. I was down because we have so many reasons why we can't afford to buy gifts for every single person we know but it's not about that. Christmas is about love. I'm definitely feeling the love.

I typed all of this out on my phone so I can't leave you with a photo. Instead I'll leave you with one of my favorite bible verses. One that has got me through so many tough times.

"Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God."
-Philippians 4:6